A Journey of Friendship and Lifetime Memories… by Marie Ganir

Friendship is not measured by how long you have known each other, it is measured by the shared memories that were good and bad, happy and sometimes sad...

I met Mae Castro in the last quarter of 2007 when I first joined Carewell. Two members caught my attention, quietly listening , smiling at times when the other members were all talking at the same time. They were Marisa Oreta and Mae Castro.

Marisa O. initially impressed me as the prim and proper Carebelle, casually elegant in white. Mae, in her business attire, (she would come to Carewell during her lunch break at BPI), looked frail. Later on, I found out that she has developed lupus as a result of her weak immune system. Marisa, a stage 4 colon cancer survivor and Mae with stage 4 Ovarian cancer. I didn’t realize that these two beautiful ladies would later on be my dearest friends, confidants, my source of strength when I was weak, the shoulders to cry on when I felt that I could no longer carry on.

Marisa, would text if she felt lonely or in pain. Often finding courage from words of encouragement Mae and I would relay through text messages we send before her chemo therapy treatments. Mae, was the brave Carebelle. Very disciplined and always researching on alternative treatments and diets when she finally decided not to continue her chemotherapy treatments.

She tried several alternative treatments and religiously followed her diet and daily regimen. After she applied for early retirement from BPI, she kept herself busy by helping Tita Dely with the Carewell
merchandise and encouraged me to become a volunteer when I told her I wanted to help Carewell.

This is how our friendship started. We would go to Carewell two or three times a week because we felt good just by being there and talking about any subject that caught our fancy. I was also
her partner in a “secret personal mission”. Just one of the hilarious and silliest things we did at Carewell.

Despite severe bouts of pain, she refused hospital confinement because she didn’t
want to stay in a hospital bed, sedated and drugged. Marisa and I convinced her to see a pallative doctor as a compromise and made a pact to help each other complete our bucket lists. We were like the three musketeers. One for all, All for one!

At 7pm of January 26, 2011 the three musketeers ceased to be. I got a call from Ed, Mae’s husband, informing me that Mae had passed away. I could not sleep that night so I wrote her this letter.

Dearest Mae,

God saw you getting tired
and a cure was not meant to be,
So he put his arms around you and
whispered "Come to Me".
With tearful eyes we watched,
as you silently suffered in pain.
Even if we want to be with you longer,
we could not make you stay.
God broke our hearts
when He took you away.
Rest now my friend... it’s good-bye
for now, till we meet again.

March 25, it’s Mae’s 45th birthday today. I made her a card at dawn and left it beside the flowers on top of her grave. I may have lost her but I gained new friends, her family - Ed, Francis and brothers, Tita Litz (Mae’s mom), Myke, Nila, and most specially Mommy Taning Castro who welcomes me
warmly and prepares the yummiest food everytime I come to visit.

To my dearest friend, Marisa O.

You have closed your eyes for the last time...

You would text me when you needed moral support,
feel afraid before a treatment or just feeling lonely.

I assure you now my dear, you'll be ok. Mae and
the angels will be there to welcome you.

I will miss the good times we had together.

It's time to rest, no more tubes, no more pain,
no more discomfort. May you rest in peace.

I posted this May 10, 2011 at 8:00 am. My college BFF Lillian called me from Singapore immediately wanting to find out how I was taking another loss because she knew I was so devastated when I lost another dear friend, Mae Castro, three months before. It is heartbreaking but on the other hand the knowledge that you have made each other happy is all that matters. This is what CAREWELL is all about. Members come and go but caring well, forming bonds of friendship and shared happy memories will always stay.

We would share recipes, talk about our families or catch up on the latest chismis. We also had special bonding times outside of Carewell. These were the happiest memories I have of my two dear friends, Mae Castro and Marisa Oreta. Our pilgrimage cum food trips to Tagaytay, Padre Pio’s shrine in Libis, St. Peregrine’s shrine in Alabang, the Pink Sister’s’ monastery in Tagaytay and the unforgettable trip to Quiapo Church. We also had our “mababaw” moments. Marisa wanted to experience the Pasig River ferry ride before going to Quiapo Church. Her driver dropped us off at the Guadalupe station. It was a rainy and windy day in July, a spur of the moment outing. We did not even bother to check the weather forecast. When we alighted from the ferry at the Escolta station, her ever efficient driver was already there with umbrellas. Sosyal!!!

The porter was collecting the tickets and we asked if we could keep ours as souvenirs. He refused to give in to our request so we settled on a compromise. He took a picture of us holding the tickets because we told him it would be published in a magazine. After that, we were giggling like teen-agers while eating xiao long pao in a dimsum house along Gandara street. True enough, it was published in the Oct-Dec 2009 issue of Big C which featured Marisa on the cover with a 7-page article about her.

Marisa, our prim and proper, fashionista carebelle, so formal but a fun person to be with. She always had rib-tickling anecdotes of things she did when the O.C. side of her would take over, like getting up in the middle of her chemotherapy to arrange the IV bottles, meticulously arranging them so that the labels were perfectly aligned or inquiring about the code number of a flower arrangement she wanted for her wake, etc. She was also very caring, always thinking of others before herself. As a daughter, she found time to walk with her mother around Salcedo Park every morning up until they were both in wheelchairs. She took care of her aunt in between her chemo treatments. Her aunt passed away 2 years ago of breast cancer. Despite her pain and discomfort, she thought of the less fortunate people who were suffering from cancer. She would sometimes feel guilty about the expenses for her treatments, (she even had a very thick scrapbook of all the expenses incurred since her diagnosis). She also wrote a book for her youngest child Gabby, because she knew she will not be around when her 10 year old baby grows up. She wrote stories with practical advice for every possible situation a teenager will encounter to guide Gabby when she is no longer around to do so.

As a friend, she took extra effort to cheer me up as I was going though difficult times by bringing me to Tagaytay. We prayed for each other at the Pink Sisters’ monastery. Lunch at the Pamana restaurant (as recommended by Tita Moonyeen Singson+) was truly unforgettable.

Late July of 2010, she requested me to help her with a project she had in mind for indigent cancer patients. My husband Vic designed a logo for the San Antonio Hospice at PGH and I would inspect the site for her when she was not feeling well. On October 10, 2010, the Hospice was inaugurated. This was her legacy, to provide end-of-life care for indigents. I feel an emptiness everytime I pass by the Pasig ferry’s Escolta station or PGH, as I recall the good times we had together.

Marisa, your courage to fight colon cancer for five years has now given me the strength to face future challenges . Bobbit whispered to me after the Holy Mass that I now have 2 angels watching over me. These words comfort me everytime I miss you, I also tell myself that you are now free from human suffering and at peace with the Lord. No more tubes, no more pain, no more discomfort. I will remember how brave you were in fighting a good battle.

Thank you my dear Marisa. Your kind words, funny stories, your thoughtfulness and sisterly advice have made my cancer journey full of fun and very meaningful.

Love, Marie